"Though we can't be humans, let's not at least be monsters." My favorite quote from the movie. I'd seen a plethora of tear-squeezing humanitarian speeches, now let me think anti-human. I'd seen trite pleas of self-pity, all ending in same-old melodramatic sigh, now let me deride and deny them. That was what I thought.
There is an old Disney logic inside my head that keeps spinning and emitting a smoke of dust. It forces me into a dichotomy of good and bad, that good things and bad things are clear-cut so that I am either a saint or a sinner. It was painful, trying always to be the nice kid then hating myself for not being able to be one. If I didn't throw a penny into a beggar on the street, I'd call myself the villain Scrooge, and if I threw one, I'd deprecate myself for my cheap attempt at pity. It sucked the vitality out of my life. I wasn't able to decide on almost all matters in fear of sinning. I asked myself, "Why can't I be the Cinderella? Why am I always the evil stepmother, secretly plotting against people out of jealousy, and regularly showing off my meager accomplishments just to feel alright?" It wasn't just me that I didn't like. I didn't like other people, how they also seemed to be caught up in the same pretense, and stumbled upon the same point of morality. They were violent, they were immature, and they were ignorant of their own doings. There were never the ultimate hero, nor the innocent victim. They were all part of a big collusion.
Then I met Hong Sang Soo's movies. I thought it'd make me look esoteric or intellectual at first; he was known for making art films. 'On the Occasion of Remembering the Turning Gate' was his most known movie. The plot was simple. A man meets a woman, tries to sleep with her, succeeds, cheats on her, and breaks up with her. But the characters were so different from the movies I had watched. They were the characters that I met in daily lives. They backstabbed each other, they spread false rumors, and they pretended to be highbrow but their pretense was too explicit. And the oddest part was, they were not so despicable. They were just individuals who strived to prove their thin existence.
So I realized that while I can't be the human that Disney portrayed, but I wasn't a monster either. Also, there was a good chance that the Disney humans were fake.
THe ENd
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Not bad for 50 minutes! Some glimmers of greatness in there (though shadowed by a bit of vagueness and obscurity). This could make a good college essay with some true insight and the odd memorable sentence. Life is not a Disney movie. True. I think that's part of growing up and seeing the world "Realistically" and then deciding if the glass is half full or half empty. It is true that "art" and entertainment that moves us has a big impact on our moral standard. Kids often see the world as black or white, and then they notice that it is also gray (often realizing parents aren't always heros or villains either).
ReplyDeleteSo while many sentences are wonderful, the intro is still a bit misleading and the verb tenses need sorting out. I like the last line a lot: "Also, there was a good chance that the Disney humans were fake." A very good chance indeed. Fun ending. Keep that. Consider this for next year's college essay.